well here i am, with one day left in minnesota. the last 6 years of my life are packed up & ready to be stored for the next 12 months. i’m not quite sure what to write that will convey the mix of emotions i’ve felt over the last month – i don’t think i’ve ever been so emotionally all over the place. i’ve been so sad about leaving minnesota that it’s been hard to be excited about france.
with this move, i’m really shutting the door on the longest chapter of my life: things that once consumed me (mostly referring to hardcore & its associated life-style) have exited over time, over the last 2 or 3 years, & i really feel like my life is starting. over the last 6 years i have weeded out the people who weren’t truly my friends outside of hardcore, or who ended up being so petty & pathetically immature that it was hard to care when they chose to exit my life. their spots have been filled with amazing people who, shockingly, can hold conversations about something other than music. not that i’m ungrateful – hardcore is a good place to grow up – but i’ve done just that: grow up (relatively speaking of course).
i am taking the first step towards what’s been my ultimate goal forever – getting a ph.d. my time teaching in france will be SO valuable, both in the experiences i will have & in it’s “attention-grabbingness” when someone will see it on my future ph.d application. when i come home from france, i get to start my master’s program. grad school is no longer a dream. it’s waiting for me when i get home.
i got to spend my last night out on the town celebrating one of my best friend’s 21st birthday, eating delicious sushi, drinking expensive drinks with orchids in them, dancing in piles of spilt drinks at imperial room & chugging waters at jetset on the way back to the car. this whole week has been a series of goodbyes, from newest friends to oldest friends. tomorrow will be spent at the state fair, going out in true minnesota style, with the very best of friends & the very best of fatty american foods.
god, i am going to miss the shit out of minnesota. when i chose to move here 6 years ago because of a couple people i’d hung out with for a week, it could have been the best decision or the worst decision i’ve ever made.
thankfully it was the best.
